5 things I’d like to see invented

Night Vision Contacts
Not that I plan to use them, but doesn’t it seem like a billion-dollar idea?

The Behind-Your-Back Tabulator
Like Facebook, except you get real life data on who’s speaking well of you and who’s not when you’re not around. (Backbook?)

The Expando
It’s a phone, a digital phone. Slips in your pocket with ease. But when you need it, it expands into a full-sized laptop — and then back again when you’re done. In any color you want.

The Take-It-Backinator
This device would work so well that I could point it in the general direction of the person I harmed and utter their name . . . and woosh, the memory of my misstep would be scrambled. So scrambled you’d ask for scrambled eggs for dinner. Even if you don’t like scrambled eggs.

(The Take-It-Backinator might help in this situation.)

The Bubble
Ideally this would be an app. Whenever you feel the need to speak on your cell in a public space you’d click on the Bubble app and instantly you’d be surrounded with a force field emanating to one foot in circumference around your head.

Whatever is said in the Bubble stays in the Bubble — and the rest of us go merrily on our ways without hearing about your business deals, sciatica, rants about the government, or kvetching about the person du jour who’s aggravating you. 

For you 

Evan Griffith
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I choose this (a rededication of purpose)
David Lynch: Anger and depression and sorrow are beautiful things