I quit: One Thing Better, Dorrie Koller

One Thing Better is a weekly series featuring very cool creators I’m impressed with, in a one-question interview format.

It’s a simple premise. Each week someone will answer The Question. 

Artist Dorrie Koller has graced these pages before. You can find aspects of her story in links at the end of this post. 

The Question:

What one thing have you been doing recently that’s making your life better?

Dorrie Koller:

I was haunting my favorite home decor store things I could never afford, but are so lovely to fondle and brood over. Browsing about the doorway before it was time to head out, I glanced down and saw some random pamphlets. 

The front page of one had a photo of a lovely blue sky. Smack in the middle of the sky were the words “I QUIT”. 

Those words rocked me. It was as if those words jerked me to a halt, grabbed my head, opened up the top of it and pulled out my brain and said, “Look at those words!” 

I grabbed the paper and left the store. 

At home, I cut the words out and left them on my desk. Before leaving for work, I hastily taped them to my chalk board  right over top of a huge list of things I want to do. 

Those words have affected me deeply over the past few weeks. They have given me courage. They have given me attitude. They have given me laughter. They have given me edge. They have taken away the ridiculousness of hope for a future that I don’t have, and have given me hope for a future that I may not get. 

While I may not have perfected the art of less is more, those words have shown me my excesses. Excesses in expectations. Excesses in wants, desires, disappointments. 

I have an excess amount of wanting to perform, to win, to gain, to be fabulous, to be independent, to be free, to be unique, to be secure. But it is the excess of my THOUGHTS regarding those desires that the words I QUIT pointed out so eloquently.

As a small child I did not have a single pre-conceived idea of what anything should be or could be. It simply was. My emotional response was minimal and practical because of my lack of expectation. Or, entitlement.

I never knew I was heavy, or had too many zits, or my bangs were too short, or my t-shirt had holes in it, or that I was pretty darn smart until other kids started to point those things out. From that time forward, it became my duty to improve. Most people would say that is right and good. All improvement is good.

I am here to say  most improvements will separate you from others in sneaky ways you have never never thought about. Those who are a tad better, smarter, richer, talented, cuter  all sit over here. 

The others  depending on their degrees of less-ness  will be sitting in other places. Even if those distances are not physical they are mental. 

This is against nature. Nature  our very DNA  is programmed to succeed by holding together. This is not to say that we are not unique, talented in various ways, tall or short. That is all true. 

However, I QUIT the extra thoughts about all of that. 

I QUIT feeling the pressure. 

I QUIT feeling the fear of not being enough. 

I QUIT worrying about time and its schedule over me. 

I QUIT thinking!!! 

Things just are. I  just am. 

Desires, expectations, pressures, preconceived notions about future moments  are all just thoughts  not actual events  and I QUIT giving them so much space in my present moment. 

I QUIT giving so much thought to events that are not even my events! 

I am here to enjoy being a breathing part of the entire universe. I breathe in all of it. I exhale love for being a part of it. I will follow whatever I will follow and do whatever I will do… but my thoughts will only be on the joy of being connected at the moment. 

Working on this has been extremely freeing, funny, powerful, and uniquely securing in quite personal ways that I QUIT from expounding upon!!


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More posts with Dorrie Koller:

Gifts from the sea: Recovering life after the deaths of family members

Dorrie’s happy bank

Feel stuck? Skip ahead: The 3-month question

For you 

Evan Griffith
Click here for (occasional) notes at the intersection of creativity and spirit. Once or twice a month.

RAKFriday, not Black Friday
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